sometimes i really wish i wasn't such an idiot. what good are standardized test skills when you still manage to fail at everything you really want to do well at? i would trade my 780 for the ability to effectively communicate through any sort of medium, right now. i would trade all the useless knowledge i can retain. the shit that doesn't mean a god damn thing to me. all intelligence does for me is make me more miserable in the fact that I still can't really do shit. what am I truly good for? i can read big books. i fear i will never be able to do something I value.
fuck all this. really. Fuck it
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